10 1/2 Tips for Using Less Technology in 2016

Woman who is figuring out whether or not she will be a slave to technology in 2016. Woman's hand using technology next to pen.

For many, using technology less was a New Year's resolution. For others, it wasn't. Regardless, here are 10 1/2 tips for how to make technology your slave and not the other way around in the year to come:

  1. Purchase Hulu instead of Netflix, that way you’ll never get the desire to watch anything.


  1. 2016 is the year of the monkey; buy a monkey to carry around instead of a phone.


  1. Instead of tweeting #BlackLivesMatter, go up to black people and tell them how you feel. Lebron James, you matter.


  1. If you’re not Barack Obama, then you don’t deserve the new Iphone 7.


  1. The Mayans predicted the end of the world in 2012. I’m still worried. You won’t need technology when the world ends.


  1. Trump is going to carpet bomb the Internet because ISIS, and terrorism, and Muslims.


  1. If you play every song on Spotify backwards it tells the story of John Lennon’s murder and the immanent destruction of the world. You’ll never be able to listen to music the same again.


  1. I lied about 2016 being the year of the monkey, get rid of your monkey.


  1. 2016=2+0*(1^6)=2K. Why 2 kay?


  1. The world’s ending… You’ve earned one last tweet.


10½. Your monkey got loose, panic!


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